Putting Yourself Out There
“Just put yourself out there!”
It’s a common piece of advice to hear when you’re in a season of wanting to expand your social circle. Sounds simple enough, but what does it really look like?
Friendzone is here to help! We’ve put together 5 practical steps to help you form new friendships.
Keep reading to discover them!
1) Choose to Prioritise Friendships
In the busyness of adulthood, it’s important to be intentional about nurturing friendships. Look at the things that occupy your time — are you focused on building your career, nurturing your relationship with your significant other, or caring for your parents? Where do your friendships rank among your priorities?
Photo of Weekly Planner app on an iPad by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels
If you’re serious about making new friends, you need to be willing to spend the time, resources, and energy to do so — even if it means that other things take a backseat.
Intentionality is key! Reflect on your daily routine and see where to carve out time for social activities. It could be as simple as blocking out one evening a week for social events, or dedicating an hour on weekends to catch up with an old friend or meet someone new. Remember, relationships don’t just happen. They require effort from all sides.
One tip for maintaining friendships going is to integrate them into your existing schedule! If you enjoy working out, find a workout buddy. If you love reading, join a book club. By aligning your social goals with your daily habits, making time for friends becomes a seamless part of your life rather than an added chore.
2) Figure Out Who You’re Looking For
You’ve decided that you want to form new friendships, but with whom? It’s worth taking time to reflect on the areas of your life that you’d like to welcome new people into. Some options could be:
Photo of two guys playing basketball by Monstera Production on Pexels
Friends with the same hobbies and interests: Maybe you’re a foodie, a runner, a gamer, or an artist. Finding friends who share your passions can make for an instant connection.
Friends in your industry: Networking doesn’t just have to be about career advancement. It can also lead to meaningful friendships with people who understand your professional journey and can provide support and advice.
Friends with similar life goals: If you’re into self-improvement, sustainability, or travelling, connecting with people who share your vision can lead to deep, motivating friendships.
Anyone at all: Sometimes, the best friendships come from unexpected places. Keep an open mind and be ready to embrace connections that come your way!
Refining your filters can help you connect with the right people. Think about what’s important to you in a friend, and seek out environments where you’re likely to meet those kinds of people.
3) Find Avenues That Work for You
Once you’ve figured out what kind of friends you’re looking for, you can find places to meet them! Look up different events that allow you to interact with new people, find an interest group, or join a social club — whatever works for you. We guarantee that there are cool, like-minded people out there who are open to new social experiences too.
Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
Interest Groups: If you know where to look, there are countless groups for every interest imaginable. From hiking to tech talks, a quick search online can help you find your people!
Workshops and Classes: Sign up for a cooking class, an art workshop, or a professional development seminar. Learning something new is a great way to meet people.
Community Events: Check out local festivals, boutique fairs, or neighbourhood events. These gatherings often have a chill, relaxed atmosphere that makes it easy to meeting new people.
Leverage Mutual Friends: Don’t underestimate the power of your existing social circle! Ask your friends to introduce you to new people or invite a friend to bring a friend to your next catch up! — meeting through mutual connections often creates a relaxed setting where you can get to know others more naturally.
Online Communities: Virtual meetups have become increasingly popular. Platforms like Facebook, Discord, or Reddit have groups that host regular online hangouts! To help you get started, here’s a megathread in the r/askSingapore subreddit where you can post a self introduction and connect with other like-minded peeps.
And, of course, consider joining a Friendzone event for your neighbourhood, sector, or life stage! It’s a great place to start 😉 Check out our upcoming events here!
Icebreaker session at our “Care to Share? A Youth Dialogue on Race and Religion” event
4) Prepare to Persevere
We hate to break it to you, but the journey isn’t going to be easy. You might be raring to get out there, but not everyone is going to match your energy! It may take a number of tries: some sources say that as few as 0.5% of the people you meet have the potential to become close friends.
Rejection is a part of the process. Whether it’s different priorities, conflicting communication styles, or mismatched expectations, you may have to wade through lots of people before you find the gems! Don’t be discouraged — we promise it’s worth it.
Photo of iPhone camera taking a flower at Art Science Museum by Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist on Pexels
To navigate this, remember to:
Stay Positive: Every interaction, whether it leads to a friendship or not, is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Be Patient: Building meaningful connections takes time. Don’t rush the process.
Reflect and Adjust: If you find yourself constantly facing rejection, take a step back and reflect. Is there something you can change about your approach? Are you looking in the right places?
Rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s just a sign that you haven’t found your tribe yet. Keep going!
5) Because You’re Worth It
Last but definitely not least: remember that you’re a cool, interesting, and unique person who could be a great friend to anyone! It takes some vulnerability to put yourself out there, and it helps to know what you have to give.
If you think you’re not friend material just yet, don’t fret! Relationship skills are something you can build on. There are lots of resources out there for you to learn from, including Friendzone’s blog!
Check out the following posts for some great tips:
Building friendships is a journey, and it’s one that’s worth the effort. We hope you feel a bit more equipped to really put yourself out there and embrace the exciting adventure of making new friends. Remember, every great friendship starts with a simple hello!
Participants hanging out at a Friendzone event