Is Social Media Helping or Hurting Your Friendships?

“Last seen 1 day ago.”

Ever spent way too long overthinking a double tick? Scrolled through Instagram stories and felt a little left out? Or felt lowkey overwhelmed by the 47 TikToks your friend just sent you in DMs?

🫠 Yeah. Same.

At Friendzone’s State of Friendships: Navigating Friendships in a Digital Age, young adults discussed honestly about how being online has changed the way friendships actually work.

Group photo from our State of Friendships: Navigating Friendships in a Digital Age event

From some of our participants’ reflections, we pulled out five practical tips you can try right now to make your friendships feel a little more real, online and off.

1) Stop just reacting. Actually show up.

Replying has never been easier. Drop a 💀, type "lol same", done. But here's the thing: easy replies usually mean shallow conversations. And shallow conversations don't really build friendships.

Some things just can't happen over text — the real laughter, the depth of an actual conversation,  the feeling of actually being heard. That's what becomes obvious when you meet in person.

One participant put it simply: “It struck me that online, I might have just replied with a ‘same lol’ or dropped a crying face emoji. But in person, body language and tone carried more weight. It reminded me that communication is not just about words, but about presence.” 

Photo Credits to: George Pak on Pexels

Friendzone’s Tip: Be someone worth talking to IRL

• When you meet up with a friend, put your phone face-down (or even away!)

• Use small cues to denote that you’re listening: nod, make eye contact, lean in a little

• When someone shares something personal, resist the urge to immediately relate it back to yourself — sit with them and offer your support 🫂Not sure how to show up? Read our blog on helping out a stressed friend for some tips.

Those little things do what emojis can’t.

2) 🔥 Streaks are cute. But is it an actual friendship?

Are you the one sending a bajillion TikTok/Instagram reels and memes to your friend and keeping the streak alive? Several young adults  said that sharing memes and reels actually sparked real conversations — and some even bonded with new people over shared humour.

While streaks are a great way to stay connected, sending someone something ≠ actually talking to them.

Friendzone’s Tip: Make your digital touchpoints do more than “haha”

• Send the reel and apersonal message (“This reminded me of you because…”)

• If you’re meeting someone new, shared humour is a great icebreaker — but don’t stop there.

• Fun idea: Next time you see a trend, try recreating it with your friend instead of just watching!

3) Not everything is a red flag.

First, it was dating red flags. Now even texting styles have red flags? (wait, so red flags in friendships are a thing? Yeah, we wrote about it 👀)

Photo Credits to: cottonbro studio on Pexels

Online platforms have rewritten the way we think about communication. Some people feel not replying within a day signals disinterest, while others find it totally fine. Some think “k” is passive aggressive, others don’t.

Another young adult shared “When I first saw the double tick, I felt nervous, because if someone read but did not reply, I thought too much about it.”

Relatable, yes… but we need to stop overthinking every little thing 😩

Friendzone’s Tip:Instead of guessing what someone meant by a late reply or a "k", just ask. Casually, not dramatically. Something like: "Hey, just checking — are we good?" If you’re someone who replies slowly, drop a text and tell them you’ll get back when you can.

You’re not “being dramatic”, you’re reducing unnecessary misunderstandings.

Want to get better at naming what you need in friendships? Read our guide on setting healthy boundaries — it's easier than it sounds.

4) Protect your headspace: comparison is a friendship killer

Another friend's vacation. An influencer's "perfect" life. The couple who can’t seem to stop posting about how in love they are? (We’re happy for you but… ugh.)

“My groupmate shared about how she often felt FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) after watching her friends’ Instagram stories and many of us could relate.”

It's easy to get stuck in that comparison spiral without even realising it.

Friendzone’s Tip:

Can't get off social media completely? That's fine. Instead of a full detox, try “small guards” instead:

• Mute accounts that make you feel worse about yourself — follow the ones that actually matter to you

• Swap 10 minutes of scrolling for a self-care activity (going for a walk, reading a book, making a snack for yourself), or even just texting a friend

• Remind yourself: everyone’s life is more than just a set of Instagram stories — what you see online doesn’t fully reflect what a person’s really going through 🙏

• Or just… make a date with a friend IRL! When you catch up in person, you often see more of the full picture, not just the highlight reel online.

5) Go offline when you can

Social media isn't the villain here. It genuinely makes staying connected easier — no more hovering by the house phone waiting for your friend to get home (yes, admin is that old 😔).

But a few youths said it best:

“I now view digital spaces as sparks for connection, while physical spaces allow those connections to grow deeper.”

“...digital culture does find its way into conversations but cannot completely replace the depth and authenticity of physical interactions.”

Photo Credits to: ThisIsEngineering

Friendzone’s Tip: If you’re trying to turn a friendly chat into an actual friendship, suggest something low-pressure:

• “Want to grab bubble tea after class?”

• “Coffee run after the meeting?"

• “Want to check out this place together?”

Even one meet-up can change the “vibe” from acquaintance to friend. Not sure how to keep the momentum going after that first meetup? We've got you! Read our guide on how to nurture new friendships.

Alternatively, if meeting IRL isn't possible… digital hangouts count too. Play a game online, stream something together on Discord, or just hop on a call while you're both doing your own thing. Technology isn't the problem — it's how intentional we are with it that counts.

A small closing reminder:

Friendships need effort — group chats and story reactions are fun, but if you want to deepen friendships or make a real connection, make sure to show up in-person as well. Listen. Share. Stay present.

🎯 So here’s a tiny challenge for this week:

Pick one friend and do one thing that’s slightly more intentional than usual — call a friend and check in on them, send them a thoughtful message that thanks them for being your friend, or arrange an in-person meet-up.

You might be surprised how quickly a friendship starts to feel “real” again 🫶